I used to be that person for you. Now it's like we don't even know how to talk to each other.

I fucked things up.

Edit: Some afterthoughts...

Sometimes I wonder of those times that the boy I am fond for posts things on the internet that tells of what he looks for in a girl and I'm like "Ah, I am like that! I'm that kind of girl! There's a possibility that he could like me like I like him!", I wonder if anyone says that to themselves about me when I post things.

Probably not.

I have so many things to think about. Or rather, I have so many things that I'm currently thinking about that I don't want to anymore.

I want to find this "better guy" that supposedly every person I have feelings for tells me I deserve.

Eh, whatever. I'm not gonna let this bother me anymore.

"For me, single girl means that I am constantly looking for people. Not somebody who completes me but somebody who I don’t fucking want to set on fire and who I like spending time with. I like finding those people. I never want to stop looking for those kinds of buds, even if I have one I particularly love."-The Frenemy

mer mer mer

My birthday was so wonderful yesterday.

Today started out really great in the morning, then the afternoon sucked because some people just irritate the shit out of me, then i had a really great time with Keith and Michelle for the rest of the day despite me not feeling so well, then it just all came to shit again.

Why do people find the need to mock me all the time? Don't they know they hurt my feelings when they do it. I'm so sick of it. Do they think that I don't see right through their attitudes and looks to each other. Not dealing with them anymore. I'm done. I'll let them be somebody else's fairweather friends.

I have a problem. I'm not supposed to be feeling like this! Go away!

You ever have to pretend you're feeling the opposite of what you actually feel for the sake of other people.

Stupid feelings.

Sadsadsad

All da Single Ladiez

I think I'm ready to be single. I mean, I've been single for quite some time now. But for the first time in a while, I actually feel it. Like I've always had someone there, whether I was dating them or not, to just fall back on. Or even felt like I had an obligation to stay monogamous because I guess that's just how I am. I often feel like if I'm hooking up with someone for several months that maybe I shouldn't be hooking up with other people. It's just been a personal belief of mine. But in the past couple months, I haven't been thinking that way and it kind of got me upset because I thought that I was doing something wrong. Like I actually felt bad. But for what reason? I'm not committed to anyone. I have no obligation to be faithful to one person because God knows these people are not faithful to me. Now, don't get me wrong, I'm not just sleeping with random people. I know I never want to get to that level. But I realize now that I often make myself feel bad for things that I just shouldn't have to feel bad about, ya know?

I also am going by this new motto when it comes to relationships of "If he likes you, he'll make it a point to be with you." And it's been working out pretty well. I've never felt more free than I have in the past couple weeks and it's great. Nothing bothers me. Well, not nothing. A few things bother me but I don't let these things ruin my day anymore.

I've also been feeling great because I started to go to the gym everyday except weekends. I guess it keeps my energy flowing..sort of. I thought that after I maybe started going to the gym and worked out everyday, that I wouldn't feel so tired all the time. But that's not the case. I think I'm just eternally tired. Which is fine because sleeping is like my favorite thing to do.

Alright, I think that's all for today.